Advocacy is for the Weak

Written By: Michelle Finn

Advocacy is for the weak. I actually had someone say that to me the other day. As she explained herself, I understood where she was coming from, but I still adamantly disagreed.

She suggested that advocating was for people that believe it is the worlds job to “fix their kid.” Yeah, it was a that kind of conversation. I explained that it is not only parents that advocate for their children’s rights, but also people living with disabilities advocating for their own rights to live in an equal, just, and fair society. I explained if no one speaks up their will never be change.

The second part of this conversation was about “lazy parenting” Her opinion was as parents it is our responsibility, alone to “fix” our children.  Now, I am a pretty laid-back person, but I will admit this conversation had me fuming. Again, with the word “fix”. That word suggests that there is something broken and I don’t know about you, but I have never looked at my child as broken. She suggested that parents should put it all on our shoulders, and if our children are not excelling “properly” we are failing our kids. We were either not loving them enough or we are loving them too much. It was a ridiculous conversation, and I probably should have shut it down the minute she began to speak.

To reiterate… This woman suggests advocacy is for the weak and we should not seek outside help to “fix” our children. Their futures solely rest on our shoulders.

Why am I telling you this? As a Special Needs Parent and Empowerment Coach and a parent to a child with a disability this goes against everything that I believe, and this type of belief system is one of the reasons that so many special needs parents struggle. We often try to carry it all on our shoulders. We are scared to speak up, because we are told that is complaining. We are taught that advocating won’t make a difference and that the people “in charge” know more than us.  Sometimes we quit before we start, because we are already exhausted.  

Does this sound like you?

You don’t have to do this alone.  You don’t have to be perfect.

Being a parent of a child with special needs is already hard enough, don’t allow someone’s uneducated opinion cause you to retreat. Keep advocating, not only for your child, but for yourself, too. Build yourself that community that will support you and lift you up. You are doing amazing, and you don’t have to carry this all on your shoulders.

If you are not sure where to start…